{The Ordinary Moments} #10

I blame the hormones, but 5 minutes after I took this photo, I balled my eyes out. we were all out for a walk with the dog and for the first time in forever, Sebastian was awake when we passed the park! Cue lots of shouting and requests to play and go on the swings… So Dadda pushed Sebastian and I sat with Theo & the dog on the bench. Dadda then, after laughing his head off, while Sebastian squealed with delight told me that, that had been the first time he had pushed our boy on a swing. This totally broke my heart. Stupid work, stupid being self employed, stupid stupid stupid. It should be a totally ordinary moment, but that was one I need to treasure.

Oh I do like to be beside the seaside…

We are so lucky to live where we do, 5 minutes walk from the beach. It means we can just go on a whim, without needing to plan a whole day out, pack a picnic and enough changes of clothes to cover all eventualities. We can just go, spend an hour or so and then come home again.

Last week I ventured out with Sebastian and Theo, to enjoy some outdoor time with my boys. Little Theo slept the entire journey, which meant I got to spend a quality hour with my Sebastian.

At the beach, there’s a lovely little park, the same one I played on as a child and its perfect for littlies.

Sebastian had so much fun enjoying the crisp sea air and each time we go I am amazed at how his physical capabilities improve.

How each time he climbs the stairs and down the slide his confidence at doing so and speed improve in leaps and bounds.

He is growing up before my eyes, becoming a little boy, rather than my baby. He is becoming so independent and fearless and I’m so proud of the boy he is growing up to be.

Our Little Theo… Our Big Sebastian…

At 5.26pm on the 29^th of September, our world changed… Our family grew by one teeny tiny little person and our whole world tipped upside down.

It has been a busy few weeks in our house, what with the constant stream of visitors seeking new born baby cuddles, half of whom haven’t graced us with a visit in 19 months since Sebastian was born and figuring out how to juggle a boisterous toddler and a newborn.

I had been so scared throughout my pregnancy that I couldn’t possibly love another as much as I did Sebastian, and I don’t think I really bonded with him during my pregnancy, and a lot of the time my bump felt like more of an inconvenience than something wonderful. It made me frightened that when the baby came along, I wouldn’t love him. I couldn’t have been more wrong.

The moment Theo was placed on my chest, seconds after his birth, my heart exploded, all my worries subsided and I knew I loved him, just as much as I did his brother, he gave me a feeling of completeness, his arrival filled a space in our family I didn’t know we had.

Sebastian visited us in the delivery suite, bringing with him a single flower, he sat on the bed and met his new baby brother for the very first time, and I led there holding my boys, one in each arm, the emotion of the last hours washing over me, two arms, two hands, one to hold a hand of each of them.

Since his birth he has slotted into our family perfectly, he is a brilliant sleeper, often going four hours between each feed; this is giving me precious time to devote to Sebastian as my darling boy has found the change somewhat difficult. He is struggling, fighting a cold and teething, so the last two weeks have been filled with nightmares and tears and clingy cuddles. He is brilliant with Theo, always wanting to give him cuddles and kisses, being wonderfully gentle and bringing him toys and sharing his Bear-Bears, although chucking his toy cars into the Moses basket isn’t the safest, I know the sentiment is there.

As our family grew in size by one, my heart doubled.

{The Ordinary Moments} #9

{The Ordinary Moments} #8

Introducing… Theo William…

Introducing… Theo William

Sunday 29th September 2013
5.26pm
7lbs 5oz

A New Arrival…

{The Ordinary Moments} #7

 

Catching the end of the summer…

Catching the leaves…

Catching my full of fun, adrenaline junkie, wanting to be spun faster and faster… 

Catching the memories, before he becomes a big brother…

An ordinary, not so ordinary moment…

 

 

Catching the leaves…

I’ve tried to spend this week away from the computer, as my due date approaches i’ve been trying to spend as much time as I can “nesting.” Be that focusing on myself, Dadda, general housey bits or most importantly Sebastian.

We’ve had some lovely weather these last few days and it seems the sun has come out to celebrate the end of summer and the start of autumn. On Thursday, Sebastian and I headed to one of the local parks for some “US” time.

The leaves had started to fall, so we stomped, kicked and jumped. Usually its just me being a loon seeing how loud i can crunch, looking for the biggest pile of leaves to kick my way through. This time my partner in crime was there to enjoy it with me! It felt like i have waited my entire life to do this with my baby.

Seeing my gorgeous boy take wonder in the smallest things was so magical, we didn’t manage to walk very far, as we stopped to collect leaves, sticks, and most excitingly Sebastian’s first Conker! Each thing he found he would bring to me like a new toy and we ended up bringing home quite a good stash of treasure.

Watching him discover something for the very first time really makes me appreciate the world, I have visited this park since i was Sebastians age and sadly I’ve grown to take it for granted, he is making me open my eyes and really see everything in a new light.

As much as i hope to teach him about the world it is him who is really teaching me.

I’m linking this post up with Coombe Mill, who are encouraging us all to get out and enjoy outside whatever the weather.

Not for all the tea in China…

Being a Mamma…

From the moment Sebastian took his very first breath I was hooked, I looked to that tiny face that was so familiar yet so unknown and my heart exploded with love. I marvelled in the miracle, that I had grown and created the most perfect little boy, you could ever imagine. My body had done that.. Me!

From that moment, as I cut the umbilical cord, watching the physical connection between us break, I felt the attachment in our hearts grow stronger, I knew I would never want him to leave my sight and that even though he was so tiny and vulnerable and needed me for everything, I needed him so much more. I could, would and still do watch him with amazement, I watch him explore the world around us and it makes me appreciate it so much more, to see him find wonder in a stone or a blade of grass, really makes me value the world we live in.

I’ve spent hours huddled in the darkness watching him sleep, watching his little chest rise and fall, his face so peaceful. Seeing the kind lovely boy he is becoming fills me with pride.

Some people may not understand the way I parent, the way every thought and decision I make I put my boy first, I like to keep him close, nobody knows him like I do. If I ever have to leave him, there has to be a really good reason to do so. I choose to have nights in rather than out, so I know I can still put him to bed. I’d rather have a lazy family day doing nothing in particular than have an exciting adult day out with my girlfriends or Dadda. I turn down countless offers for baby sitters, choosing to stay at home, even with him sleeping upstairs, I just like to know if he needed me, I would be there.

This time is so precious, we won’t get it again, I treasure every moment. The high I get when I walk through the front door after a long day at work, to hear him shout Mamma from which ever room he’s in and come running to meet me is greatest feeling, it’s like all worries and stresses from my day are wiped away with him throwing his arms around me, almost knocking me over.

Of course we have bad days, when it seems like he has fought me every step of the way, when bedtime can’t come soon enough, but I wouldn’t change it… not for all the tea in china.