You can read the Part 1 of this post here.
The following day we left hospital, still doing our lead down snuggled up feeding, sometimes only for a few seconds, sometimes a few minutes. We were finding our way on those precious drops of colostrum, syncing into his cycle, feeding on demand
The second day of being home my milk came in; I woke up in true glamour model style, rock hard, ginormous breasts that were so painful to touch, never mind be head butted by the little one. My milk came out with such ferocity, Sebastian coughed and spluttered and choked as my milk hit the back of this throat, and again the insecurities started to creep back in. Thankfully my mum turned up, breast pump in hand, having known this would happen from her own experience, and we pumped almost 2oz from each side, relieving the painful engorgement. The milk had the consistency of double cream, I couldn’t get over how thick it was, and the colour a yellowy creamy mix of the remaining colostrum and my milk made.
We had bought a bedside cot, rather than a moses basket, knowing I would be able to do a lot of the night feeds, just by moving across towards him and latching on. My cousin had given birth 6 months earlier and remembering visiting her and seeing the sheer exhaustion on her face after getting up to sit in a chair with every night feed. So yet again my mum came to the rescue, opening my eyes to the world of co-sleeping safely. But that’s another post for another day!
The only problem was, my baby was almost a week old and I hadn’t left the house, I had attempted a number of times to feed, sat up as I would need to in public, but the frantic head bashing continued, I couldn’t hold him enough to direct him properly to feed while he thrashed around. I couldn’t exactly lie on the floor in the middle of the library to give my boy his lunch. I know it’s breastfeeding friendly but come on now!!!
Once again I was saved by the lovely lady from the breastfeeding network, who had visited me in hospital, she popped round to the house to see how we were getting on and she talked me through starting to feed lead down in our usual position, and then slowly adjusting us both until we were upright. Over the next 24 hours Sebastian and I practiced and practiced this sitting us up mid position, until we managed with the use of support cushion a whole feed in an upright position. YAY!
I can totally understand how so many people give up breastfeeding so early, had I not had the support I received, maybe I wouldn’t have managed it either. You feel so vulnerable when you’ve first had a baby, so criticised, so watched. That when you feel things aren’t going totally right it is so easy to change direction, try a different route, not stop and listen to your heart. No matter how much you read, watch or question nothing can prepare you for real life. Both you and baby need to learn how you fit together, how you work as a team. Your baby learns how to drink just as much as you learn how to feed.
Tomorrow we would leave the house!